Well as you are all aware now, Katie has returned home for her operation and after considerable deliberation we decided that I should stay out here and finish the journey. The last few days have been difficult for everybody and I just wanted to thank you all for the support you have given Katie since she got back. Just to add to the already complicated situation we have had the video camera that we are using to document the journey stolen!!! This in it’s self has caused us a major headache logistically. I can’t carry on without it and we have no idea how long the insurance company will take to get us a new one. In any case we are working furiously to try and solve the problem and I’ll let you know as soon as a solution presents itself. I also noticed that loads of people have emailed complaining about the security code on the comments not working so I have removed it, very sorry about the inconvenience.

In the mean time I thought I would tell you about the ‘African Way’!!! So what is the ‘African Way’? Well it would be slightly presumptuous of me to generalize all of the following as endemic to all of Africa but I can certainly say that they all have happened in varying forms along the journey so far!

The first of these phenomenons is that everything is done in ‘African Time’! African Time is a concept that was specifically designed to drive you completely crazy if you let it. In England if you happen to be one of the ‘cool’ gang you turn up fashionably late to events. Personally I find it discourtesy to turn up late (even if it is cool) but I can understand arriving half an hour late or so to a function as that is your prerogative. Over here however the meaning of ‘fashionably late’ is taken to a whole new level, in fact I would go as far as to say it is just plain ridiculous. If you arrange to meet somebody at a given time (as we did a short while back) you would expect them to turn up some time vaguely resembling the agreed one… not a bit of it! Everything happens at least 1-2 hours late and if you make provisions for this, it will turn into 3 or 4. It’s truly unbelievable that people turn up to meet us 5 hours late without batting an eyelid!!!

The next ‘African Way’ I would like to introduce you to is the law of subtraction! This is the simplest of all rules and it dictates that by African standards it is always better to remove parts (or modify parts) rather than add them. OK so this doesn’t sound too bad on the face of it but let me give you a small insight into the kind of thing I am talking about. A few days ago a nut fell of my bike (again) and I had to push it to the
nearest village (again) to get a spare. I went to a bike repair shed, pointed out the problem, asked for a replacement nut and went to the shop next door to buy a bottle of water. When I came back I found the man hitting my bike with a hammer! I let out a yelp and rushed over to find that instead of simply adding a nut like I asked he had hit the end of the bold with his hammer so hard that it had splayed out and jammed itself into its slot never to be removed. He then sat open handed with his toothless grin waiting for me to pay him for his ‘fantastic service’. My burning desire to hit him was increased exponentially as he tried to charge me for the use of his hacksaw when I tried to cut the bold out! This rule is basically true for all things. I have seen fixes going on in workshops that would quite literally make you stand and stare a gasped! I was discussing this phenomenon recently and I was told a story about a man who’s brake pads (on a car) were completely worn down and instead of getting new ones he simply padded them out with cardboard and was upset when he was pulled over by the police with flames pouring out the side of the wheel!!! They start with the smallest of problems and instead of fixing it properly, they make the problem exponentially worse with each ‘fix’!

Whilst I am on the topic of mechanical fixes I thought you might like to have a short run down of all the parts we have been through since we started our journey one month ago. This is partly due to the fact that in order to make the parts affordable for local people they are produced in China at a less than perfect standard. The other day when we were repairing her rear wheels first puncture we were amazed to find 5 other repair patches on the inner tube! Quite amazing considering we bought her brand new wrapped in bubble wrap and card board!!!

Inner tubes x 3
Puncture Repairs x 9
Chains x 5
Brake cables x 2
Brake cable sheaths x 2
Brake pads x 4
Wheels x 1
Steering column x 1
Saddle post x 1
Rear sprocket x 1
Peddles x 2
Whole bikes x 1
And counting….

The next ‘African Way’ is the statement ‘I think this is not possible’. I have now heard this statement so many times that it has begun to make me laugh. In retrospect I think this statement is trying to say one of three things; either ‘I can’t be bothered because it sounds like hard work!’, ‘I have no idea’ or ‘I genuinely don’t believe this can be achieved’. The latter of these meanings is only used, I think, when ever I tell anybody what I am doing. This statement seems to be a standard default statement when ever I ask a question that requires a person to actually help. Just a few days ago I tried to draw some money out of an ATM but was faced with a message on the screen saying that the machine was currently out of service. So I asked the security guard where the nearest ATM that worked was. He looked at his watch, made a deep and purposeful noise as he sucked air through his tightened lips and promptly said ‘I think this is not possible for you to get there today’. Being only 9 am on a Tuesday in a major city I was perplexed by the statement. The only rational reasoning I could conclude to this when I found the next ATM no more than 250m away, was simply that he couldn’t be bothered to get up out of his seat, walk to the street corner to point to it.

Of course the ‘African Way’ drives me completely crazy but it does have a certain charm in its own special way, you simply have to accept it and let it go over your head.