Djibouti:
Well lets not beat around the bush, this is defiantly NOT the best country to start a cycling journey from. There are very few bikes in the country as a whole and the ones that are around have seen better days. Unless you are starting from here you are very unlikely to actually go here due to its geographical location and politics with surrounding countries. However if you do visit there are a few things you might need to know. It is a French speaking country with very very little English spoken. They use the Djibouti Franc and quite frankly their economy still baffles me now, the cost of goods and services is extremely high and yet it has a very run down African feel to it. Banks only open for a few hours a week but none of them will change any currency unless you have an account with them. The only two ways of changing money are with ‘The Ladies’ in the market square at night or in the change bureau if you can work out when it is open! Shops are only open when the owners want to open them and some big stores are only open for 1 hour a week so don’t stand outside stores expectantly for too long. The true Djiboutians are very kind and hospitable however be careful as the city is surrounded by immigrants and refugees from Somalia and they WILL throw rocks at you as you cycle past. Take a lot of water as the country is predominantly desert and a hammock and mosquito net will be fine for the night.

Ethiopia:
The stretch of road from Djibouti to Dire Dawa is very very sparse so be prepared!!! The road (dirt track) is very bad and water and food is incredibly limited. If there is one part of the journey I would recommend taking water purification tablets, this is it, you will not be able to get drinking water and the only food you will be able to get is bread. Once your onto the main road at Dire Dawa the roads throughout the whole of Ethiopia are very good quality. However if you venture onto a secondary road, the quality deteriorates exponentially, expect a 150km journey to take between 8 and 10 hours by vehicle let alone bycicle!!! Their currency is the Birr and the general cost of living is exceptionally low. Their food is some of the best in Africa, but may take a few days for your stomach to adapt to it. They have a lot of customs you should try to familiarize yourself with asap and respect. The national language is Amharic and as a rule only those who have been educated speak English. This is one of the most spectacularly diverse countries with every kind of landscape you can imagine. There are a lot of mountains so either get a bike with gears or be prepared to push! Unfortunately most of the population believe that it is the DUTY of white people (travelers in general) to give them money! Almost every single child is bought up to beg and as you get closer to the boarders the adults also do it. There is also a huge problem with forced services, people will perform jobs that you often don’t want and then demand extraordinarily large sums for their services.

Kenya:
In comparison to the Ethiopians, the Kenyans have a much better understanding of tourism and so you won’t be hassled nearly as much. As a general rule people are very friendly and despite Swahili being their national language most people speak English. Their national currency is the Shilling and compared to Ethiopia the cost of living is very high. When you cross the border at Moyale you will not be allowed to proceed by bike, the guards at the edge of town will stop you but there are armed escorts that will take you past the ‘danger zone’. Once you are passed this area you have got a 200km cycle along a very bad dirt track before you will get onto tarmac. The country is relatively flat with the exception of 2 mountain ranges. As a general rule the roads are tarmacked well enough to cycle along but they are covered in pot holes so both you and the traffic need to swerve regularly so be careful! Your entry Visa can only be paid is US Dollars, UK Sterling, EU Euro and SW Swiss Francs (they don’t accept their own currency!). On the plus side the visa is valid for 3 months and you can come in and out of Kenya as many times as you like during that time.

Tanzania:
Ah yes Tanzania… The best piece of advice I can give anybody who is looking to cycle on the main roads in Tanzania is DON’T! I have been very fortunate to have traveled a good portion of the world and I have to say that the Tanzanians (especially the bus drivers) are in close contention for being the worst drivers in the world. I heard some staggering figures regarding the annual death toll on Tanzanian roads and I can well believe it. Apart from that small deterrent it has a lot to offer. Their national language is also Swahili but it is a very different kind of Swahili to that spoken in Kenya. I believe it is a considerably more formal and traditional version, although I can’t be sure of that. In any case most people speak English so if it takes you a few days to learn the new version it isn’t the end of the world. There staple food is maize although they have some fantastic additions to their diets including the ‘chipati’. It is only served in the mornings but it makes a spectacularly good breakfast along with the local fruit. There is an impressive abundance of food stalls on the side of the roads were you can buy a huge variety of local goods and bottled water is available everywhere. The national currency is also the shilling however it does not have the same value as the Kenyan shilling. Most people are incredibly friendly however that doesn’t mean to say that they won’t take you for a ride if they get the chance. If you do choose to risk your life on the roads then you should be aware that the road between Dar Es Salaam and Mbeya is bad… not in a quality, but in a driving sense! There are almost no hard shoulders and there is a considerable drop off the road into the grass. As you start to get close to Iringa the hills start and there are an incredible amount of lorries, buses and cars that have rolled over and are on the side of the road burnt out!

Malawi:
This on the other hand is a brilliant country for cyclists. There are some serious hills to climb, most notably in and out of Mzuzu, so I would probably recommend some gears on your bike and obviously there are some serious downhills so good brakes are advisable. The people are incredibly kind, the lake is very very beautiful, the roads are in generally in excellent condition (NB. Be very careful when heading out of Mzuzu down towards Nkater Bay, the road is very steep and suddenly, on a number of occasions the tarmac stops). Despite having quite an absurd number of languages throughout the country most people speak English. Whilst accommodation is plentiful there is a considerable difference in the frequency of food stalls between here and Tanzania. You will find relatively few and the ones you do find sell mostly fish, however the biggest problem is water! Very few places sell bottled drinking water and the quality of the countries flowing water is not very good, so be sure to buy stock when ever you can. I enjoyed almost all my time in Malawi and the only thing that made life difficult were the children! There is a distinct similarity between the Malawian children and the Ethiopian children when it comes to begging. Almost every child will scream out something along the lines of ‘give me my money’ as you cycle past which dampens the whole experience slightly. Unlike many African countries, Maize is not their staple food, instead they grow a crop called ‘casava’ and although an expert in the matter would probably strongly disagree with me, I couldn’t taste much difference. The currency is the Kwatcha and the national obsession with money will mean they will take it when they can, negotiations are an intense affair however as long as you keep the mood light everybody will be smiling at the end. If you chose to cross the border down through Nsanje (highly recommended) then be aware that there is no tarmac until you reach Caia (about 120km into Mozambique).

Mozambique:
Truth be told I still can’t make my mind up about this country. It is a truly enormous place and is predominantly covered in forest. Due to land mines it is ill advised to camp outside of village boundaries and I know I said in my equipment post that you didn’t really need a tent but obviously the second I said that was the moment I was to be proved wrong! I still believe that if you had a good bike and a light load you could do without a tent but I have used it on several occasions now. Accommodation is a little on the sparse side and you should seek the permission of the village elders before setting up camp in a village. The staple food is basically bread and fruit although rice and maize are everywhere as well, and supermarkets are fairly common in the south. As I mentioned before, the currency is the Meticai and is a little confusing when you first come across it so have a good look at the notes and coins and get familiar with them. The most widely spoken language is Portuguese and very few people speak English, so make sure you have at least a basic grasp. With the exception of two stretches so far the road has been very good and flat. Drivers are good at giving you space when they overtake and everybody is very friendly. Apart from the occasional moment bartering is really not so much a part of daily life. Most people are honest about prices right out although it doesn’t hurt to be cautious. As you head further south the road becomes increasingly populated with South Africans and the sides of the roads are absolutely covered in glass from smashed beer bottles so make sure you have good tires or lots of spare inner tubes.

Swaziland: ….. still to come!

The most basic rule to remember is that ‘knowledge is power’! You are usually most vulnerably to being conned and ‘taken for a ride’ when you arrive in a new country. Everything hits you at once; new people, new surroundings, new climate, new currency, new language, new economy…! This advice is aimed at crossing borders rather than arriving at international airports, but I suppose to a certain extent the same applies. Don’t, what ever you do, let yourself be bullied or panicked into doing anything. Most of the borders in Africa are hectic places and that’s for a very good reason, if you hot and flustered you are more likely to make mistakes, and that is what they want. Regardless of what anybody says at the border the only people who are ‘officials’ are the guys with guns (even that isn’t always the case) and the guys sitting behind the passport control desks. So don’t let anybody go through your stuff or pull you over into a quiet lay by etc. and don’t give anybody your passport or other documents no matter how convincing they might be. Some of the bigger borders have got Forex bureaus but most of the time you will be flooded with requests to change money on the black market. The people will vary in their honesty so make sure you know the exchange rate before you get anywhere near the border and be strong, they will usually try and tell you that you are crazy and that you have got the wrong exchange rate. If they can make you doubt yourself and get you panicked, they will push you into a deal you don’t want to make (and they are very good at it). Stand your ground and be prepared to walk away if necessary, they will eventually come up to the proper rate. Just be aware that there are 1001 scams just within this one topic, so to be breif, show them that you have the money but don’t give it to them (have the amount you want to change already ready in your pocket, DON’T go opening up your money belt and showing loads of cash!!!) get them to give you the correct money first, count it all in your own time and only then, when you are happy that you have the right amount in your hand, do you hand over your cash.

Personally I try to get away from the borders as fast as possible. On a bike however, especially Herbert, even at full speed ahead I can never get all that far. So my first night in a new country I try to find a place to stay were the prices are printed. The very fact that the prices are printed means that it’s probably slightly more expensive than where I would usually stay, but at least I have something to work off. Once you’re in the relative comfort of your room, get yourself together, get pen paper and go to the bar/eat house/restaurant and find somebody who, in exchange for a drink will sit with you and teach you some vital words in their language. Some of the most important and useful word are the numbers.  The better you can communicate with the people the less likely you are of ‘being taken for a ride’. Also while you are at it, ask about the general cost of everyday things that you are going to be needing/wanting. The chances are that the bank notes you now have are quite large in relative to the cost of local goods so make sure you change them as soon as possible for small denominations.

In western culture bartering is a bit of a taboo and is frowned upon in many respects, after all how many times to you go into your local supermarket, pick up a chicken that costs £3.50, go to the till and start trying to pay £1 for it? As such we are not all that good at it and when we get to a part of the world were bartering is part of everyday life we get walked all over. Again for me the ultimate bargaining weapon is knowledge! If I know how much something should cost then I at least have a chance of paying the ‘right’ (by local standards) price for it. There are a million and one ways of achieving the same goal here and I’m sure everybody has got great techniques but mine are very simple. The first way is to simply be very British about the situation and queue! Yup just queue. The great thing about Africa (and indeed quite a large proportion of developing countries) is that the concept of queuing is  not part of their culture. Subsequently people will push, barge and fight their way past you so they can get served first. As infuriating as this can be at times on this particular occasion it can be very useful as you can watch patiently and see what everybody else is paying. When your sure, you can jump in and get your lot. The other way is to find somebody completely neutral who has no vested interest in lying, to you to tell you how much something costs. Of course using this technique alone, run’s the risk of asking somebody that just felt like upping the price for his mate.

Of course just because the person in front payed XYZ for his eggs doesn’t mean for 1 second that they will offer you the same price straight out. In some countries they will use every excuse under the sun to convince you that there was a special reason why he got that price. Have faith in yourself and remember that there are no hard feeling when you bargain, if your price is too low for them they simply won’t sell it to you, so don’t feel bad fighting your corner. Sometimes you will inevitably come up against a situation were you simply can’t find a reliable reference price and you need to bargain blind. Again if you do get yourself into this situation don’t panic!!! Get them to give you their starting price, (Now this next number will depend on the country) NO matter what they say divide it by 4. They will usually let out a gasp and shake their head violently with some disapproving sound added in for good measure. The chances are that you have gone too low but seeing as you are going to have to meet them half way you need to give yourself some starting ground.

There are a few other ground rules you should be aware of; ALWAYS agree a price first for the service and NEVER pay until the service has been delivered. If you make people look you in the eye when they are quoting you a price they will find it harder to lie, if they start looking around and avoiding eye contact, you know something is up. Never ever lose your temper, no matter how bad the situation gets you have got a much better chance of resolving the situation successfully by keeping the mood light. Keep a close eye on all your stuff, your equipment is most at risk when you are distracted. If you unequivocally know the price of something (ie. Coca Cola) then just had over the money rather than askinghow much, to save any negotiating.

This is such a huge topic that I could go on forever but the long and the short of it is that knowledge is the key. And no matter what happens never lose your cool, if you feel panicked just walk away.

So what would I consider to be indispensable equipment when cycling through Africa? Well the truth is I would only say that you actually need 4 things: A bike (and I think that Herbert has proved that it can be pretty much any old bike), a set of cloths (as much to protect you from the sun as for common decency), your passport (with any relevant visas etc.) and money. Thats pretty much it. Of course there are a number of other items you can bring that will aid you on your journey but that is actually all you NEED.

The items that will make your life more comfortable and considerably easier are actually pretty limited as well. A map is a huge help and I would recommend getting a waterproof one even if its going inside a waterproof pouch. A waterproof bag that fits onto your handlebars to put everything in that you can take off easily and carry around with you. A first aid kit is an excellent idea but you can buy most basic drugs in towns and cities so don’t go OTT with a medi kit that will allow you to perform open heart surgery on the side of the road!!!! Most importantly make sure you have what you need to clean cuts and cover them up. Malaria tablets are a good idea and although they are considerably cheaper out in Africa they have a huge problem with counterfeits so be careful. A tool kit, the reason this isn’t on the essential list is because no matter where you go, no matter how small the village, somebody will have enough tools and knowhow to fix your bike. That said I give you about 5 days before they drive you completely crazy with their ‘African Way’ of fixing things so I would probably recommend taking a good multi tool with you, a few spare parts such as an extra inner tube and a pump. Incidentally something that we never found written anywhere in any of the ‘Cycling Africa guides’ before we left, was that African pumps are designed exclusively to fit to their special African valves and they wont fit on standard European valves!!! Depending on the countries your planning on cycling through, a helmet is also not a bad idea. I was torn between putting the next item in the essential list but decided that it was in fact just a very useful item and not critical for success… a bell (make it as loud as possible). Something that I never really used until reaching Malawi were water purification drops (iodine). Up until Malawi you could buy drinking water on the side of the road every few kilometers (its relatively expensive but worth it) but its a real rarity in Malawi so I would just check with somebody that has been to your destination before deciding whether to take any. A cycling computer can be both your best friend and your worst enemy but in the long run is probably a good thing. Not so you can gloat over how far you have cycled but so you can get an idea of distances between towns and villages. Unfortunately on a bad day you stare at it every 2 minuets and painfully watch the kilometers creep by.

No trip is complete without it’s luxury items. My luxury items constitute about 70% of all my equipment amazingly. This is predominantly cameras, batteries and chargers. When ever I look in other peoples equipment they have the most obscene amount of adapters to convert plugs for one country to another, which take up vast amounts of space. If space and weight is a premium, as it is on a bike, then cut out the middle men. At almost all borders you can buy plugs for that country (just the plastic housing with the relevant contacts), if you take your one off and give it to them, they will usually exchange it for the next one you need. Aside from all my electronic equipment that I use for filming, taking photos and writing posts my most useful luxury item is my ‘Panga Knife’ (It’s basically a 50cm machete). On top of acting as a generally very useful tool (for opening coconuts or cutting pineapples etc.) it is a good deterrent and protection against animals. You can pick them up pretty much anywhere for about $3 to $5.

One of the things that I have deliberated over quite considerably is my tent… To take a tent or not to take a tent? In conclusion I would have to say that there is no real need for camping equipment (tent, mattress or sleeping bag). Almost every single village and town has rest and guest houses that cost between $3 and $7. In your room you usually get a towel, a shower, a bed and a toilet. They are designed for truckers to stop at and so some are slightly on the noisy side and prostitutes are no rare sight but they are perfect for a traveler needing a rest and a wash. The reason I have started to prefer these to camping is that the room is more spacious than a tent, cooler, they have plugs and all your kit is together and out of sight. On top of this tents are usually soaking in the morning from dew, condensation or rain and if they are designed to be animal proof then they will probably weigh in excess of 10kg.

Of course it is going to depend on the purpose of your journey as to what equipment you will take and you will have to make the decision to balance up what you are going to take versus the amount of effort you will need to peddle it along. However I hope that you will see from what I have put in the indispensable list that actually you really don’t need much kit at all. Africa is pretty much designed to accommodate its own people and by extension if you can live like them it will also accommodate you.

One thing you cant get away from in any language is numbers. Whether I’m asking the time, how far it is to the next village or probably most frequently, how much something costs. They all need a vague grasp on numbers.

1.Moja
2.Mbili
3.Tatu
4.Nne
5.Tano
6.Sita
7.Saba
8.Nane
9.Tisa
10.Kumi

100. Mia (Easy as thats my sisters name)
1000. Elfu Moja (2000 is Elfu Mbili and so on)

As a general rule the people of Tanzania have been incredibly friendly and so quite a considerable amount of the day is spent greeting people as I cycle past. Not only is it considerably nicer being able to greet people in their own language, but there are less English speakers in Tanzania than there are in Kenya (They also speak Swahili in Kenya although it’s a very different kind). So the basics of every greeting are:

Hello – Jambo
How are you? – Habari
(If you are speaking to somebody younger than you you can use the word Mambo which means – Hi how are you? but it should never be used to one of your elders!)
Welcome – Karibu
I’m great – Safi
Cool – Poa
No worries everything is fantastic – Sowa Sowa
Good buy – Kwa eri
Thankyou – Asante
What is your name? – Jina Lako Ninani
No Worries – Hakuna Matata

The word for ‘very’ is Sana and can be put on the end of other words ie. Karibu Sana – you are very welcome etc.

Unfortunately knowing a few words means that people assume I can speak the language well and rabble sentences off that are still a complete mystery to me. When this does happen I have to jump in with a very useful sentence:

I don’t understand! – Ona Taka Nini!

Foods are hugely important but as a general rule people only eat local produce so there is a relatively limited vocab to learn to get buy.

Banana – Endizi
Pineapple – Nanas
Mango – Embe
Coconut – Mnazi
(These make up the bulk of my diet at the moment)

Oogali is the staple food in quite a large proportion of Africa and although it takes on different names in different countries it is always the same. It is a maize paste that is probably best described as a bland version of mash potato. It’s not great to eat on it’s own but thankfully it is usually served with a sauce of either:

Vegetables – Maiza
Chicken – Kuku
Beef – Ngombe
Goat – Mbuzi

Some of the other foods that turn up that I was slightly surprised about are chips!!! For some extraordinary reason they have attributed the chip to Ireland and are always calling them ‘Irish Potatoes’. It makes me laugh that served up next to all the African fruit and Oogali is a dish they seem particularity fond of, the ‘chippi omlati’, I will let you deduce for yourselves what that might be!!!

A few other useful foods are:
Egg – Yai
Potato – Kiazi
Bread – Samaki
And probably the most important thing is water – Maji

The good news is that once you get the basics right Swahili is actually quite a simple language to learn. The bad news is that in about a week I will be crossing over into Malawi and all my hard learned Swahili will be of no use what so ever and I will have to start all over again. Oh well!!!

PS. Thank you all so much for your messages, they are much appreciated. I am slowly getting round to answering them all but my days are a little full at the moment so please be patient.

However you chose to look at the Kenyan section of our journey you can’t say that it has been uneventful. From the second we reached the border between Ethiopia and Kenya, life changed! In many respects it has been considerably easier and more enjoyable, but it has also been logistically and bureaucratically considerably more difficult. In stark contrast to Ethiopia where people both old a young incessantly demand money and stand open palmed expectantly, the Kenyans have been far more ‘Mzungu savi’. Mzungu is the Swahili word for ‘white person’, and is used primarily passively to simply identify and announce us as we pass through towns and villages. It also has a slightly darker, rarer and more aggressive implication of resentment when it comes to money! In general though, the Kenyans have grasped something that the Ethiopians still lack, the understanding of making a ‘Mzungu’ feel welcome and at ease. The more aggressive and demanding the Ethiopians got regarding money, the tighter we held on to it!

The difficulty started when we tried to pay for our Kenyan Visa’s using Kenyan Shillings. To me it doesn’t seem a totally preposterous concept paying for a Kenyan visa, in Kenya, using the Kenyan currency! Well according to the border official I am living in a dream world and he proceeded to laugh out loud as he explained (as he unequivocally believed to be true) that no matter what country you went to in the world you could ONLY buy visas in US Dollars. We did try to explain that this was simply not the case and we even tried to show him the payment stamp from other visas in our passports but he was adamant that the answer was the US Dollar. We managed to muster enough emergency dollars to pay him and make it safely into Kenya. Once there however, our cycling came to an abrupt end! As we pushed our bikes up the hill we were informed by the local police that we were not allowed to cycle the first couple of hundred Kilometers from the boarder as they were completely ruled by bandits, and the government had no law or control over the area (it was this region that saw the majority of the bloodshed back in February). It all sounded a little melodramatic to me as he explained that even vehicles had to leave in convoy, but sure enough the next day the convoy assembled on the edge of town.

The main road between Kenya and Ethiopia! (Not our image)

In light of this we got onto a very old and tired looking blue bus with a Chelsea Football Club crest on its side and a couple of guards with large riffles joined us as a routine safety precaution. Just as we were preparing to leave two Japanese and a Finnish backpacker jumped on the bus and we headed off for another ridiculously long and bumpy journey. Along our 200km bus journey, we passed through numerous villages whereby the driver put his foot flat to the floor in a bid to get through as quickly as possible (and to not be shot at!!), maybe they weren’t being melodramatic after all!.

I have to admit that the drivers here in Kenya are some of the worst in the world, they make even the Nepalese look like fully qualified BSM driving instructors! So much so, that about 20km after we got off the bus the driver flew off the road (sorry dirt track) and rolled the bus over. We actually only found this out when we coincidently ran into the two Japanese and Finnish backpackers again in Nairobi some days later. They didn’t seem too badly hurt, and although we saw the vehicle in the ditch we never looked closely enough at it to realize it was our bus!

Next, we stayed with the Umoja Uaso Women’s Group, next to the Ngiro River in the Samburu region of Northern Kenya. Samburu women are among the most marginalized groups in Kenya. Development has been slow to reach the area and education is often not easily accessible. Furthermore, women have a low status in the community and are the last to receive the few resources available. Within this context, many women are subject to severe mistreatment by their husbands. Faced with continual abuse, these women opt to leave their husbands. Another example of the discrimination and ill-treatment that Samburu women have faced is the alleged rape of approximately 1,400 Samburu women during the 1980s and 1990s by British soldiers from training bases in the area. Many of these women were subsequently shunned by their husbands. Whether they leave their husbands or are abandoned by them, the women are left as sole providers for themselves and their children. In 1990, 15 women formed and registered the Umoja Uaso Women’s Group with the then Ministry of Culture, Heritage and Social Services to address these issues. They started by selling beadwork and other goods. After facing threats from men jealous of their success, the members decided to found a women-only village and reside together, thus providing collective security and cooperation. The group also dedicated itself to informing women about their rights, their health (for example, by encouraging pregnant Umoja residents to receive prenatal care), and helped them start income-generating activities, (one of which being the campsite in which we stayed). As the group’s members prospered, more and more women joined. UUWG now has 48 members, and continues to strive to achieve its goals.

Samburu Women (Not our image)

During our stay by the river, (in a part of Kenya that normally sees next to no rain), we were woken in the early hours of the morning by our tent gradually being engulfed in water. As the river had risen 2 metres in one night from the rainfall! The next major event was when our camera was stolen in Nairobi. Incidentally I’m glad to say that we have found a temporary solution at least and I now have a new camera to continue the journey with. I’m not sure how many of you have ever tried doing a police report in Kenya but its not quite as simple going to the police station and reporting the theft, Ohhh no. We were relatively lucky with our experience but its more a case of the police commissioner saying something along the lines of “What a terrible tragedy, why don’t you take me out for lunch and tell me all about it and I’ll think about giving you a report!” In any case the whole event was completely overshadowed by the phone call telling us that Katie had to fly back immediately.

The raging Ngiro River

For those of you who’s African geography is up to scratch who will know that the country I am about to cross into, Tanzania, is home to the ‘roof of Africa’, Mt. Kilimanjaro … here I come!

]]> http://www.primaljourney.com/archives/759/feed 5 http://www.primaljourney.com/archives/754 http://www.primaljourney.com/archives/754#comments Mon, 03 Nov 2008 07:08:38 +0000 Tarka http://www.primaljourney.com/?p=754 Well as you are all aware now, Katie has returned home for her operation and after considerable deliberation we decided that I should stay out here and finish the journey. The last few days have been difficult for everybody and I just wanted to thank you all for the support you have given Katie since she got back. Just to add to the already complicated situation we have had the video camera that we are using to document the journey stolen!!! This in it’s self has caused us a major headache logistically. I can’t carry on without it and we have no idea how long the insurance company will take to get us a new one. In any case we are working furiously to try and solve the problem and I’ll let you know as soon as a solution presents itself. I also noticed that loads of people have emailed complaining about the security code on the comments not working so I have removed it, very sorry about the inconvenience.

In the mean time I thought I would tell you about the ‘African Way’!!! So what is the ‘African Way’? Well it would be slightly presumptuous of me to generalize all of the following as endemic to all of Africa but I can certainly say that they all have happened in varying forms along the journey so far!

The first of these phenomenons is that everything is done in ‘African Time’! African Time is a concept that was specifically designed to drive you completely crazy if you let it. In England if you happen to be one of the ‘cool’ gang you turn up fashionably late to events. Personally I find it discourtesy to turn up late (even if it is cool) but I can understand arriving half an hour late or so to a function as that is your prerogative. Over here however the meaning of ‘fashionably late’ is taken to a whole new level, in fact I would go as far as to say it is just plain ridiculous. If you arrange to meet somebody at a given time (as we did a short while back) you would expect them to turn up some time vaguely resembling the agreed one… not a bit of it! Everything happens at least 1-2 hours late and if you make provisions for this, it will turn into 3 or 4. It’s truly unbelievable that people turn up to meet us 5 hours late without batting an eyelid!!!

The next ‘African Way’ I would like to introduce you to is the law of subtraction! This is the simplest of all rules and it dictates that by African standards it is always better to remove parts (or modify parts) rather than add them. OK so this doesn’t sound too bad on the face of it but let me give you a small insight into the kind of thing I am talking about. A few days ago a nut fell of my bike (again) and I had to push it to the
nearest village (again) to get a spare. I went to a bike repair shed, pointed out the problem, asked for a replacement nut and went to the shop next door to buy a bottle of water. When I came back I found the man hitting my bike with a hammer! I let out a yelp and rushed over to find that instead of simply adding a nut like I asked he had hit the end of the bold with his hammer so hard that it had splayed out and jammed itself into its slot never to be removed. He then sat open handed with his toothless grin waiting for me to pay him for his ‘fantastic service’. My burning desire to hit him was increased exponentially as he tried to charge me for the use of his hacksaw when I tried to cut the bold out! This rule is basically true for all things. I have seen fixes going on in workshops that would quite literally make you stand and stare a gasped! I was discussing this phenomenon recently and I was told a story about a man who’s brake pads (on a car) were completely worn down and instead of getting new ones he simply padded them out with cardboard and was upset when he was pulled over by the police with flames pouring out the side of the wheel!!! They start with the smallest of problems and instead of fixing it properly, they make the problem exponentially worse with each ‘fix’!

Whilst I am on the topic of mechanical fixes I thought you might like to have a short run down of all the parts we have been through since we started our journey one month ago. This is partly due to the fact that in order to make the parts affordable for local people they are produced in China at a less than perfect standard. The other day when we were repairing her rear wheels first puncture we were amazed to find 5 other repair patches on the inner tube! Quite amazing considering we bought her brand new wrapped in bubble wrap and card board!!!

Inner tubes x 3
Puncture Repairs x 9
Chains x 5
Brake cables x 2
Brake cable sheaths x 2
Brake pads x 4
Wheels x 1
Steering column x 1
Saddle post x 1
Rear sprocket x 1
Peddles x 2
Whole bikes x 1
And counting….

The next ‘African Way’ is the statement ‘I think this is not possible’. I have now heard this statement so many times that it has begun to make me laugh. In retrospect I think this statement is trying to say one of three things; either ‘I can’t be bothered because it sounds like hard work!’, ‘I have no idea’ or ‘I genuinely don’t believe this can be achieved’. The latter of these meanings is only used, I think, when ever I tell anybody what I am doing. This statement seems to be a standard default statement when ever I ask a question that requires a person to actually help. Just a few days ago I tried to draw some money out of an ATM but was faced with a message on the screen saying that the machine was currently out of service. So I asked the security guard where the nearest ATM that worked was. He looked at his watch, made a deep and purposeful noise as he sucked air through his tightened lips and promptly said ‘I think this is not possible for you to get there today’. Being only 9 am on a Tuesday in a major city I was perplexed by the statement. The only rational reasoning I could conclude to this when I found the next ATM no more than 250m away, was simply that he couldn’t be bothered to get up out of his seat, walk to the street corner to point to it.

Of course the ‘African Way’ drives me completely crazy but it does have a certain charm in its own special way, you simply have to accept it and let it go over your head.